A Pointless and Epic Adventure

I walked into the connivance store and bought my big ass bag of cheap chippies. The clerk smiled at me briefly before handing me my change, a five dollar bill and some coins. As I leave the store a huge gust of wind snatches the bill from my hand and throws it into the air. I chase the bill down the street. Eventually it lands in the busy road. Fear of certain death keeps me from rushing out onto the street. Instead I wait a life time for the hurtling cars to pass.
After several anxious minuets it is safe for me to retrieve the wet crumpled bill. My money is torn nearly in two. And so without a moments hesitation, I march back into that connivance store and buy myself an other big assed bag of chippies. The clerk is perplexed by my action, but I do not care. That money was clearly jinxed and I would not carry such bad karma on my person.